Posted on February 03 2024
Don’t read this email unless you have absolutely nothing else to do. In fact, I would argue that doing nothing would bring you more joy or at least annoy you less than reading this email. Seriously throw this in the trash and never read it.
OK if you’re still here, it’s entirely your fault. Because all I am going to do is remind you, Jesus hold on my stove won’t fucking light hold on.
OK sorry. So annoying. I have this really cool looking kind of vintage style stove that makes me feel, when I look at it, like a far better person than I really am. But then it won’t light, so what’s the point? I know I’m being a spoiled brat, and I know a lot of people have bigger problems than I do, but none of them live under my face. I do live there. In a world of blood and pus.
Anyway, now that the stove is lit, and the eggs are boiling I do like to look at it. By the way, did you ever read a book called When Things Fall Apart? It’s by a woman named Pema Chödrön. It’s good. And I have to say I’m pretty impressed that this phone knew to put little dots over the Os in her name.
OK well the reason I am writing this email is simply to remind you that my live streaming stand-up special from last year Louis C.K. Back to The Garden is back up on my website and available for five dollars to download or stream. And that also, you can buy a poster from the show, a very nicely designed poster, for $20 and then you get the show for free. And also if you buy one for $100, I will sign it for you. Whoever you are.
That’s the news I came here to write. And you are getting this email because I sent an email about it last week and some of you didn’t open it. Sometimes when we send another one a week later, a bunch of people open it, that didn’t open the first one. So maybe the first one goes to spam. I don’t know. We just make guesses. I also just want to mention that the material, jokes, from the Garden special are pretty much, the same as the one in Louis CK at The Dolby.
And as long as I’m wasting your time, and you have clearly taken your own part in wasting your own time by reading down this far, I will remind you that my old TV show, Louie, is available exclusively on my website for streaming. It costs thirty dollars to stream all five seasons of Louie here and if you pay $35 you can also stream Horace and Pete the series I did on my website that won a Peabody award and was nominated for two Emmys.
And also my latest movie that I directed and wrote and had a part in called Fourth of July starring the very funny Joe List is still available on my website. You can buy it, bundled with Louis CK at The Dolby for $15 here. But also, Fourth of July is available on iTunesand Amazon and will soon be on Google Play as well.
Also, did you know that my very first feature film that I wrote and directed, Tomorrow Night is available on my website for five dollars? It’s a really weird movie and I think you would like it. I’m only in it for 10 seconds but Steve Carrel is in it and so is Conan O'Brien and JB Smoove, who is funnier than hell. There are other people in the movie who have much bigger parts, but I’m not gonna say their names because they’re not famous. Which means they are nothing. Absolutely nothing.
But I would also like to say that there is a far far better movie out there than Fourth of July or Tomorrow Night. It’s called Anatomy of a Fall. It’s a French movie, but it’s mostly in English and goddamnit Is it good. I really enjoyed it. And I recently watched a DVD of a Mexican movie called Japón. Holy shit balls was that good.
OK that covers all the information I wanted to tell you that relates to my income and your entertainment and the way in which the Twain shall meet. The phone capitalized the T. in Twain. I guess it thought I was talking about Mark Twain. I wasn’t.
There’s nothing else to say here. Overall, I would say it’s good to be alive and if it isn’t, it doesn’t last too long. And if you’re sad today just remember that sadness is joy seen from a distance. Joy Behar. Also remember that there is an elephant somewhere. Always. What could possibly be more important than that? Also the only difference between your hopes and your dreams is that they are different words from one another.
Please be kind to each other and to yourselves